Yesterday I was talking about my ‘leftover’ issues that have surfaced as I travel and ‘work’ in Europe this summer. I love to design my life and so I have changed my life in many ways given up a lot of things in favor of being able to do this. And yet I have had fears and issues arise on this trip that pertain to my family’s past actions and attitudes about me traveling. They hate it, they heap all kinds of judgement and anger on me because for whatever their own reasons are, they think I should not do it, and enjoy it. Since I used to put what others thought and felt above anything I felt myself, they used to get to me and I would not only feel bad, but often not do something that my heart longed for due to their attitudes.
Since I have been changing that, I have had more anger, and judgement thrown my way. I am getting really good at living my life on my terms anyway and not letting their issues affect me, however, I have let it affect me some on this trip and I got upset with myself for it.
As I have said in these other blogs;
why is that coming up again? and Dealing with passive agressive…
Dealing with passive aggressive, or outrightly aggressive and opinionated people who try to control you with their beleifs and attitudes can be challenging and requires developing a strong self love and realization that you are the only one who can know what is best for you and your life will not be the joy filled amazing experience it can be until you put your feelings first.
Be aware this pisses a lot of peole off. Oh well, they make their own choices and have free will to live the way they choose.
You can’t create in their reality and they can’t create in your, UNLESS you give them the power and permission to. Stop now!
When we are pissed at ourselves or anyone else we are wasting our energy, time and resources.
Here is my next realization:
2. If we are spending ANY energy on the past pain, unfairness issues, or anything that does not lift us up and empower us, then we cannot be fully present and feel the joy and vibrancy of life.
By letting the old energies into my vibrational energy field again, I let fears, doubts and uncomfotable energies enter me and it was so uncomfortable I had a panic attack, could not sleep and other issues. It depleted my energy to live this moment my way, it distracted my focus to enjoy the experience i was having, it colored, in a not good way, what I was experiencing and all in all sucked the fun out of my trip.
I use ‘being in the now’ techniques to keep my mind focused on what i am doing, feeling or seeing at the moment. I also meditate on my energy, and focus on asking for help from unseen energies that love and lift me up to enhance the parts of my light body that feels good and is empowering me. The more I focus in on my body’s energy and how it feels, the more I am automatically in the moment and the fears of past feelings, hurts and others opinons cannot affect me.
Also, get out of your head, you mind, your thoughts, they are trouble makers. BE. Just practice being; by feeling energies and knowing the Universe is loving and supporting you to do, be, feel have and experience whatever YOU want in YOUR way. I do too!
Go live YOUR life.