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How to handle a bully

By December 8, 2008 Blog

How do you feel when you are threatened? Bullied? Pushed around, accused, attacked? Do you feel your stomach flip or get queasy? Does your heart race? Do you want to run away or fight?

How often does this happen to you in your daily life? I know we have all had intense experiences in life now and then with someone who is very volatile, angry and wants to force their opinions and more on us. But have you ever considered that often, in a less intense way, people are trying to control you every day? You feel it, you just try to ignore it or perhaps it upsets you and you let it ruin your day…

What is the point of all this? My mission is to help others in the ways I have helped myself to get over worrying about what others think and being myself. When you allow others to bully you, and threaten you, and you react to it in a way that is not empowering to you, it depletes you of energy. It allows you to stay in a victim mode. When you are in a victim mode, you attract more of the same; situations, people. I wanted to break that chain, at all levels…do you?

Well, for oneĀ  it is not about being able to prevent anyone from ever doing anything ever to upset or hurt you. Remember you can’t change other people, ever. They will still do their thing. But when you encounter someone who is acting like a bully, superior, acting from their ego and threatening you, you will be able to CHOOSE new feelings and thoughts. You can shift the situation within you and not take on their stuff.

Some people are very full of fear and then they try to control everyone and everything around them. They blame you, they accuse everything around them and they do not take responsibility for their own lives, feelings and actions. When you encounter these kind of people, breathe….. then relax and allow your emotions to move through you…do not resist them, just let them wash over you and out…

Then begin to focus on “this is their issue not mine”. If the ‘attack” and threats are pummeling you, continue to breathe and surround your heart with light, then expand it to include your solar plexus (stomach) and keep going until you yourself are encapsulated in light.

Stand up for yourself. That may mean walking away, and saying nothing. It may mean getting mad. It may mean saying what you feel is true. It may mean you say you need time to cool off and think clearly and you will get back to them later. Or it may mean you simply do not respond at all. Whatever you do, be true to yourself. Allowing others to make you feel bad and scare you is not honoring who you are. There is a really, really deep place within you, that knows you must be FIRST and FOREMOST true to yourself, no matter what.

I wish I had a better way to explain this, because when you get it, wow! Anytime you go against your inner voice/knowing, you attract more attacks. It is not different than the animal world, where in the wild animals can smell fear and weakness. The people who threaten and attack others are themselves HUGE VICTIMS. They have learned throughout their lives to take power and energy from others through intimidation and control. That control maybe aggressive and outright, or it may be passive and silent, hard to detect. The cool thing is, when you get rooted firmly within yourself, you will know it either way, your body will tell you! Your body, mind and emotions are constantly communicating with you and you will KNOW when something does not feel right.

Let go of guilt and feeling responsible for other people’s feelings and actions. You cannot make anyone do anything. When others threaten you, turn within and do what you know to be best for you. If later you realize you just wimped out to keep peace, then resolve it. Talk to them either in person or in the etheric. Forgive yourself and them. Let it go. Invite in positive, creative energy. Move on and honor yourself. Above all love yourself and learn from each encounter.

Once you begin to operate from this beautiful core within you, you will notice these things bother you less and less and in fact, show up less and less. Remember, when someone blames you, THEY are the victim. When someone threatens you, THEY are the one out of control, not in alignement or integrity. When someone attacks you it is from THEIR own issues, and feelings of lack of control, not ever because of you!

Stay in your own integrity, apologize when you feel out of alignement and then allow the bullies to go play somewhere else. If you are unwilling to play, they will go away and find others to hook into their drama!

Make this the best holiday ever! Set your mindset to joy, attract more money and know how to be around people who make you feel stressed. Join the “Hot Holiday Cash & Survival Tool Kit” class now! (First class free and ready to listen to).

Or get a coaching session lined up, be ready for any holiday stresses you may encounter and intend this to be the best holiday ever!!