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Are you changing and notice those around you aren’t?

By March 30, 2009 April 6th, 2009 Blog

Are you making positive changes in your life and feeling uncomfortable around people you once were uplifted by?

Are you on a path of personal growth and really making changes? Are you feeling more happy, empowered, positive and in charge of your life? Great! That is my passion, to help anyone who seeks a better life and more joy, love wealth and health to find it within themselves and create the life they desire! This is what we all seek, even if some people are so buried in their fear and pain they can’t see a way out. My total wealth transformation class has seen amazing inner shifts in the way they feel, how they see the world and what they are choosing. The results are fantastic. Now, the changes are becoming more real and they are beginning to see others in their environment react to their positive changes.
Whenever we make changes that empower us, in how we feel and what we create, those who know us as we have been will react. If you are fortunate enough to have truly supportive, open minded and growth seeking  people in your life, you will be supported. However, most of us soon experience many people around us reacting negatively. This is their issue, not ours, and yet we have to address it within us. You will find that you will shift who you are hanging out with and what you want. You will see certain relationships fade and people move away from you and others appear. It is natural. In essence you have raised your vibration as well as your awareness.

I have been through this many times, because I am on a constant, intense path of inner growth and change. I strongly desire to be personally empowered, joyful, wealthy and happy all the time. The more I did this, the more I found I just could not be around certain people and in certain groups. At first it can be hard. I remember about 10 years ago I was mostly a stay at home mom and  had these wonderful women friends and women’s spiritual groups I attended. They were my lifeline to sanity and they were very nurturing. It really felt so wonderful to be with them. We would meet several times a month, go on retreats and so on. I loved being with them and doing all the meaningful activities which included spiritual and personal growth work, which I love.
I was tired from being with twin babies all the time and still had some deep sadness I had not fully released from my daughter dying several years before. In this space with these women, I was taken care of and it felt so good, because I was depleted of energy taking care of others all the time. At that time, they were a perfect match for me, and I gained so much by being with them. They enjoyed caring for women who were needy and I had needs.It worked well and uplifted me for years.

Then I began to find more inner joy and met one women in particular. We became friends and she was fun, strong, opinionated and did her own thing. She came to the groups now and then, but really had her own way of doing things. I began to feel more joyful, and strong and clear. I began to do more healing work again and as my kids approached school age, I felt ready to grow a business again. I spent more time with her and less with the group. She made me feel strong and empowered. The group did not like my new found energy, happiness and strength. They separated us in groups so we did not act too happy and outgoing. They commented that when I spent time with her I was “too energetic” and yes, believe it or not “too happy”! I began to feel less supported by the group and even found myself ‘seeing’ things about them I had to noticed before. They were very focused on weakness and wounds. They liked new people who joined the group and were weak and needy, like I had been years before. They had severe poverty consciousness. These thingds no longer resonated with me.

Their discomfort with the stronger, more authentic ‘me’ emerging from my tired and sad state continued as I began a new business in real estate investing. Real estate investing grabbed my attention and passion like crazy. I could not get it out of my mind, and even though it was so far from any other business I had created, I was meant to do it. I read and learned non stop for the next 5 years, becoming very succesful and building a large business.
Initially I was so excited about my new passion I would mention it to the womens group. I received some support, but mostly vague and ‘oh thats nice’ but I noticed no one wanted to really hear about it. Then as my passion grew and I began to really immerse myself in growing that business, I became very focused, motivared and strong, the women became more distant and critical.

I began to feel unwelcome in the groups and finally had one woman actually email me a long critical email claiming my priorities had changed, I was no longer committed to the group and it’s intent and that she thought I should not come to an upcoming retreat. Even though I was aware of the shifts in their energy and attitudes, it was a real blow to me and I was hurt and upset. The other women apologized for her email and so did she. However, it was the point where I realized, I was trying to fit a square peg, me, into a round hole, them and it no longer worked.

All along, though, leading up to that, I was feeling inside like I was growing and changing in such a wonderful way. I knew within me I was on the right path for me. There was no doubt. I wanted so much for these women who meant so much to me to honor and respect my new passion. To share my enthusiasm and to support my goals and achievements. I wanted them to become stronger too and more wealth minded, more personally empowered. It was my path, though, not thiers. I was going to seminars that included personal growth and business as well as investing and I was experiencing massive personal growth at levels I had never experienced. When we do this, we cannot expect others to keep up, it has to come from within them. We can never change others, only ourselves.

I had to stay true to my path and continue, even if it meant the end of my relationship with this group who had meant so much to me. I wanted to stay and yet had to let go and honor my new path. I had to let them be who they were as well. I had spent the previous 10 years or so on a path of intent spiritual growth and learning. Yet, pushing myself in this new area, facing fears of rejection and doing large business deals, and constantly pushing myself outside my comfort zone, was creating spiritual and inner growth on unprecedented levels. It just looked different to these women. They could not see that, they had their own limits in their vision. They felt in sync with me when i was tired and sad. My new found strength and passion made them uncomfortable. Like many people, they had ideas that their way was the best and only way. They thought if you focused on wealth, you were greedy, and were no longer spiritual   and had fallen off the path of enlightenment.
I knew this shift was happening and all along, I was thinking inside “I love these people and I don’t want to give them up”. I held on as long as I could, even though the energy had shifted for me too and I was no longer feeling welcome, nurtured or stimulated to grow. Their energy had shift for me too and it all felt very boring, weak and negative. Once the time came I received the email from one lady, I knew inside me I had to leave it behind and move on, My path had diverged  and we were no longer vibrating at all the same. I was a bit like a kid inside, throwing a temper tantrum, saying to myself “I don’t want to do it”. I really did not want to let of of that old security and support, the love and the nurturing.

This is key. When you realize you have changed and others have not, be willing to let go. Do not continue to hang oaround peopel who bring you down, do not feel good, and speak and think in negative or poor ways. You want to make your life exceptional. Find new people who vibrate with the new you and uplift you. Always reach for those who are ‘ahead’ of you on the curve. Push yourself and don’t let anyone hold you back. Since that group was no longer giving me support or happiness, that was the major clue that it was time to move on and let go. Here is where our own personal path and joy has to be our priority. We have to be able to say that we will not let anything stand in our way and we are willing to do what we are drawn to do. Trust and let go.

Several things happen when you make a decision to change your life for the better. When you begin to take your power and choose what you want, you are going to upset some people. People who know you the way you were are comfortable knowing what to expect from you and want you to stay that way. It is safe, it is comfortable for them. When you change, the people around you often feel like it is a reflection of their shortcomings. They do not want to change or are not interested in what you are doing. They are afraid you will leave or be better than them. Their insecurities pop up. They often prefer you weak and unhappy, because they can commiserate and relate with you. They are stuck in their own limiting patterns and have not yet discovered their desire to break out of it. When you begin to change, be happy and have success, it makes many people very uncomfortable. Sometimes downright angry and critical. Even if your attitude is not to say anything about it to them, they can see and feel your shifts. Remember, most people fear change.
You have to decide; are you going to be committed to your change or are you going to hold yourself back, limit yourself, and play small to make others feel safe? In order to create the life you really want, you have to chose courage, inner commitment and put yourself first. It sounds selfish to our conditioned minds, that have had others telling us since birth that we have to act this way or that in order to fit in and make them feel safe. However, we are not here to live for others, we are here to live a life of exceptional joy and creativity that only each of us has within us. We are here to live wealthy, healthy exciting lives that reflect the uniqueness of who we are and expand our boundaries, and therefore the Universe. It takes a brave heart and a loving soul to venture out past the gates of sameness and Be who we are meant to be. We have to realize, expecting others to be happy and supportive of us, is unrealistic, this is our journey, they have theirs.
Our lives and interests change, and with it the people who best add to our lives. We have times when certain people, groups and careers really excite, push and fulfill us. Then we grow and shift and eventually, we move to something new and those same people, groups and career paths no longer hold the same interest, support and joy. It is OK. It is the way it is meant to be. Let go and move into your next best life and let others do the same. Be careful you do not limit others either. True love, for ourselves and for others begins with allowing. Allow them to be who they are and allow yourself to be who you want to be.

Don’t wait for outside validation. When you notice someone is negative and it pulls you down, get away and find those who are in your new vibe. We do not have to feel guilty because we are choosing joy, empowerment and happiness. We do not have justify what we are attracted to and what we want to do and experience. What we do have to do, if we want to live an inner powered life of joy, love and happiness, is be true to ourselves and let others do the same.

I know, there are people and memories we would love to hold on to. There are passions and agreements that we feel an obligation to stay in. Yet when it begins to limit us, make us unhappy, uneasy and feels as though it is suffocating us… it is time to let go. No agreement is forever, and we have to allow ourselves to move on and to release others, without blame to do the same. What is best for you is not what is best for others and realizing that gives you more clarity in moving forward. Many people stay stuck in their old patterns and lives and keep repeating the same negative and unfulfilling experiences, because they are not willing to let of of the old ways and the people who no longer have the same interests. It does not make them wrong, it simply means you have changed and it is time for you to move on and seek new people, places and experiences.
Making the transition from where you are to where you want to be involves risk, because you will change who you are with and what you do. You may receive criticism from others and even anger at times from those who want you to stay the same and make them feel ok about who they are. This is not our job. Our job is self care first. No matter what relationship you are in, it does not serve them, us or the greater good for us to deny who we are becoming

Most of us need ongoing support as we transform. Having support and being with like minded, uplifting people and information is vital. Please join me in my monthly group coaching programs. They are designed to keep you supported through all your changes. They will give you powerful tools and techniques to be able to keep stroing and psotive and forge your path to joy, wealth and love. Having a coach and arming yourself with support is your best way to truly breakout of the same old thing and create an ultimate life.


I also have a one time 90 minute class for only $19.97. It is the first in a series called Transform your life. It is called “Escape the Victim Vibe” It is on April 9th.

Looking forward to creating our own realities together!