the greatest gift will surprise you, and being selfish will optimize your life?

By March 6, 2008Blog

Nan at Chateau de Versailles“Do you know the greatest gift you can give someone is your joy?” Abraham-Hicks

I love this. I am a big believer in joy. I want my life to be filled with joy. I want to “Joyfully Create” (check out my powerful 30 minute guided visualization) all the time. I have learned through pain, challenge, loss, fear and tragedy. Now I choose to change my life on purpose; joyfully. I realize when I make sure that I feel good, do what I love and make being happy my #1 priority, that I am a more powerful and loving person, with more to give others.

Here’s the full quote: ” “Do you know the greatest gift you can give someone is your joy and you know you can’t be in your joy unless you’ve come into alignment with who you are. So when you try to behave in a way to please someone, and it takes you away from your joy…you give them an empty shell. But when you are selfish enough to be who you really are, now you give them the whole of who you are now….that’s something!”

What a powerful statement. I want to discuss a few things in here, although I am sure I could discuss this for hours!

1. Your greatest gift to give is your joy, but you have to be who you are and be whole.

Being joyful is simple, and powerful. You are totally lined up with source, you are in a divine flow when you are truly joyful. To experience true joy, you have to be connected to who you really are. This is so vital. Not what anyone else wants you to be, or what you think you should or have to be, but only and always who you are. How do you do that? Well, you have to have self worth and love yourself, you have to be still and connect to your inner being, your massive spirit. You have to recognize and celebrate the you that knows what you want and does it. You have to treat yourself with respect and how you want others to treat you. Connect to the limitless, powerful and joyful being you truly are. Then you will be whole, then you experience joy more and more often and then you can give this blessed gift to others.

2. You have to be selfish….meaning you have to care about yourself and how you feel as the first thing…..

This is like we discussed in #1. We were all taught not to be selfish, some more than others. It was so ingrained in me, that the first time I went to a workshop that they asked each person to say their name and say “I love _____” filling in your name, I was shaking and crying before they even go to me. It was infused into my beliefs, thoughts and my very cells, that that was bad, wrong and very vain. This attitude, “don’t be selfish” is such a damaging beleif. So dis-empowering. I can’t recommend highly enough to start where you are right now and begin to release the beleif that it is bad to be focused on you, to love you and practice being selfish. Now remember being selfish is not what we think it is. It is not constantly demanding others do what you want, change for you, and give you what youwant. It is loving and recognizing yourself, taking care of yourself, following what you desire and honoring how you feel. Reach for feeling good and take responsibility for everything in your life. Know you have the power to create anything you want and take that power.

Do not play small for anyone or any reason. It dilutes your power and your joy leaks away…

3. If you try to please others, (you cannot, ever, ever, did I say EVER???? I really mean this.) you will never be joyful and whole, because you will never be yourself.

Want to guess how I know this…? You got it, I was a people pleaser most of my life. Interesting when you do that, you think you are being nice, being kind, considerate, putting others before yourself and all that other nonsense we are taught. I tried. I worked so hard at it. I was always wanting to make others happy and guess what I discovered, after almost 40 years of life…. you will never, ever succeed. It’s never enough, it’s never right, you can’t please people, because they all want something different and what they think and want changes all the time.

So we are to what I currently consider one the the most important issue if you desire to take charge of your life and live it the way you want. STOP CARING WHAT OTHERS THINK. PERIOD. end of story. Then you can hear your own inner voice, you can feel what you truly want, you can access real joy. And give it.

Remember you can please others….it’s so much fun to give and see someone truly touched, happy and grateful for what you have done, or given them.! You just have to do it from a place of wholeness in you, not to get anything from them, not to gain approval. True giving is like the true joy, uplifting and empowering for both parties. What a true joy when you can give to another from your personal place of knowing and inner joy and they receive from that same pklace in them! There is joy at an exponential level. That is expanding energy and you both get to be moved and inspired.

“…now you give them the whole of who you are now….that’s something!”

That’s the real gift.